I find myself pregnant again. It's my fourth pregnancy in three years and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Of course I am happy we're having a baby, but along with that comes my fears. I'm afraid of the M word happening again. I'm worried about how I'll cope with working while I'm feeling so nauseous. I'm worried about finishing school. I'm worried about handling three kids under four years of age. I'm scared that  the mesh from my hernia surgery will tear while I'm pregnant and I'll have to have surgery after giving birth. I'm mostly worried my baby won't make it. Of course most everyone is happy we're having a baby so it makes it hard to talk about these fears. I also feel like if I bring up anything negative about being pregnant it somehow is insensitive to those out there that can't have babies. Believe me I am thankful Jaren and I don't have fertility issues. But I still do have to deal with  problems. And when my ten month old isn't keeping me up at night, my worries do. I know everything will be ok, but the stress is still there.